Bonds Made and Broken Over a Bottle
by EldestIrish
Summary: Sirius notices that Lily hasn't made it back to the Common Room so he goes to the library to find her. Imagine his suprise when she's drinking and they end up talking...


Tipping the bottle sideways, she peered down the neck. Amber liquid sloshed reassuringly and she noticed that it had a red tint to it; this made her giggle.

_Maybe that's why it's called Firewhiskey._

She giggled again and pressed the mouth of the bottle to her lips. She took a long swallow before pulling the fiery intoxicating nectar away. Brushing her fingers against the old books that surrounded her, she sighed in contentment. This was her sanctuary. The library had always been her safe spot; the one place she could escape from the boys. They kept as far away as possible.

She laughed again and tried to rise. The alcohol coursing through her blood stream made this simple task slightly difficult. She swayed and this pulled another giggle from her lips. A faint noise made her spin drunkenly. Another sound made her try walking. This, however, was probably not the best plan.

She stumbled and pitched forward. Just barely, she caught the edge of a bookcase and managed to keep herself upright. Still giggling, she made her way from bookcase to bookcase, venturing through the library, trying to find the source of the noise. And failing, because of all the noise her stumbling made.

…_..._

He crept through the dark library, trying to keep quiet. He had noticed a one Lily Evans hadn't made it back to the Common Room that night and he had come to try and find her. He knew she probably wouldn't appreciate this but he was worried she had fallen asleep among her books again. Shaking his black hair out of his eyes, he continued deeper into the bookcases than made him uncomfortable. A giggle made him wonder exactly who he was going to meet with once he made it through the labyrinth of pages and bindings. He knocked into a stray chair and the giggling stopped, but then started again. He heard a few more bangs and sped up.

…_..._

By some strange surge of gravity (commonly known as drunken falling), Lily ended up sitting on the floor again. She absolutely howled with laughter. This brought Sirius at a run. Lily stopped laughing as the silver eyed boy came around a corner and found her. The red head just stared at him.

"Want a sip?" She finally asked, holding the bottle up to him. Shaking his head, Sirius crouched down and examined the label.

"How much was in here when you started drinking?" He wanted to know, noticing that it was two-thirds gone. Lily let loose a giggle and took another swallow.

"It was full." Lily had a sloppy grin on her face and her cheeks were flushed. "Why are you in here, Sirius?" She asked as her liquor-soaked brain finally processed that Sirius Black was standing in the middle of the library.

"Well, Lily-bug, I came to check on you. I thought maybe you had fallen asleep studying again and wanted to make sure you made it to your bed tonight. Obviously, you're now going to be needing help getting there."

"This is _way_ more fun than studying." Lily giggled again and took another sip. Sirius thought she had had quite enough of the Firewhiskey, but knew from past experiences, it was rather hard to get the bottle away from a drunk person.

"You know, love, I think I will have a sip of that, if you don't mind." Sirius put on his most charming smile and the red head's eyes lit up.

"You want to drink with me?" Sirius nodded and Lily handed him the Firewhiskey with a smile. He smiled back at her and took a huge gulp. His eyes watered as the fiery liquid slid down his throat. Three more swills followed the first before Lily pulled the bottle out of his hand.

"You're being greedy." She said with a pout before pressing the bottle to her lips once more. Sirius smiled at her and wrapped his hand over hers.

"You've already had most of the bottle, though. My turn." And while Lily was still holding it, Sirius chugged back some more. Lily gasped and tried to pull away from him, but years of Quidditch had put some muscle on Sirius and he kept her in place. Lily squeaked in protest as Sirius drained her bottle and wrapped his free arm tightly around her hips. A few minutes of silence passed between them before the Firewhiskey started to get to the boy and a smirk worked its way onto his features. "You're really very pretty, Lily-bug. I love your eyes." Said emerald eyes widened as they looked into his silver ones.

"And you think _I'm_ the one that has had too much to drink. I think you mean to be talking about yourself, Sirius Black." Lily said. She tried to sound stern but a giggle fell out of her mouth when he pulled her tight against his side. "You're not too bad looking either."

"I know," he stated, "I am Sirius Black, after all."

"And you're awfully cocky." Sirius looked down at the crown of Lily's head as she settled herself next to him and laid her head on his shoulder.

"Well, I had known it only took a little Firewhiskey to get you to warm up to a person, I would have told James to try this ages ago." Lily started at this, and pulled her head away from his shoulder.

"Sirius Black, you will do no such thing! I'm not normally like this! I don't normally drink, I just felt like letting loose tonight."

"I noticed." Sirius murmured. Something in his warm, rich baritone voice made Lily spin herself so she could look into his eyes. They were deep silver pools that seemed to look into her soul. She could float forever in those eyes, given the chance.

…_..._

Sirius couldn't believe how fast the Firewhiskey was taking over his body. He felt it in his swimming head and heavy arms. But even as he felt the alcohol bog down his body, his mind was flying. How had he never noticed how silky Lily's hair was? Or that she had the most glowing skin? He reached out and ran his fingers slowly down her cheek. Blooms of color rose up where his fingers touched. Lily reached up to meet his hand and twined her fingers through his.

"I really like this side of you, Sirius. I've never seen it before." Lily whispered, through barely parted lips. The oldest Black boy couldn't help himself anymore. He pressed his mouth firmly against Lily's.

…...

At first, there was no response, but then Lily began to move her lips against his. Sirius pulled her close to his body and she responded by wrapping her arms around his neck to get even closer than that. A hand cradled the back of Lily's head as the warm fingers spread through her hair.

"Lily..." Sirius whispered against their kiss. The redhead responded with an enthusiasm that Sirius didn't know she possessed outside of her schoolwork. After a few moments, Lily pulled away from their kiss and the silver eyed boy groaned his disappointment.

"I want to look at you." Sirius' brow puckered at the thought.

"Why?"

"Because you're beautiful." Lily's delicate voice came out as a whisper as her fingers drifted over the boy's cheek bones. A look of concern crossed Sirius' features as he reached up to pull the fair hand away from his face.

"Lily, this can't happen. You know that, right?" His eyes were as wide as they could go, but still looked full of unshed tears. A frown flitted across the redhead's porcelain features and her eyes turned into emerald glass marbles as tears rushed to her.

"Can we not have this conversation while we're both practically sloshing with alcohol? And while I can't seem to hold a steady thought in my mind?" Sirius' head was shaking before she could even finish her sentence. Only he could possibly know James' mind as well as James knew it and, even in his liquor sodden state, he knew this would crush his surrogate brother.

"I need you to listen to me very carefully, Lily-bug. You need to remember this in the morning and I don't have any way of doing this again, so please, _please _pay attention to me." Silver eyes pierced into emerald and Sirius knew he had Lily's full attention, and had always had it; had always had her attention in a way that James could only dream about. Her fingers tightened around his as a tear tried to snake its way down her cheek. Sirius caught it and looked at it while Lily crinkled her nose in disgust.

"I really don't like the way the evening has turned." She informed him in a murmur as she traced the smooth lines of Sirius' cheekbones and jaw. Her fingers trailed across his brow and down the straight slope of his nose. She gently followed the flow of his lips. They parted and a hot breath rushed out and warmed her fingers. Lily shivered slightly, but continued her slight touches as she traced out the lines of his neck and shoulders. Sirius' hand seemed to find the curve of her waist without any thought from his brain. The heat of the moment centered on their lips and they shared another long kiss. Lily locked her fingers in his shaggy black hair while Sirius traced designs on her back, under her shirt. The kiss broke and they looked at each other with such intensity that Lily had to look away.

"Why does this have to be too much?" Lily muttered, still looking at the floor. Sirius just shook his head when she turned back to him. "I wish you had figured this out a long time ago Sirius Black. I could have made you happy if you would just let me." Lily closed her emerald eyes, tears sliding down both cheeks, and gathered herself as best she could. And then left the library without a look behind her.

…...

Morning found Sirius on the floor of the library with one of the worst hangovers he'd ever experienced. His hand was stiff from being clutched around a Firewhiskey bottle for the better part of the night. He pulled himself into a sitting position and sagged against the bookcase behind him. He peered into the neck of the bottle to see if he had any to spare and help tide off his pounding head. However, there was nothing left. Sirius closed his eyes and leaned his head against the dusty tombs. He vaguely heard footsteps headed in his direction but ignored them in favor of covering his ears and lying back down on the floor. The beat vibrated in the wood under his head and Sirius groaned. An amber eyed boy rounded the corner with a wide grin spread across his face.

"Sirius!" He boomed in an overly loud voice. Sirius' only response was to groan again and roll over. Remus chuckled. He ran a warm hand over the laying boy's head. "Time to get up and face the music, Padfoot. Another day of learning is ahead of us." Sirius rolled toward the voice and cautiously opened one eye.

"Go 'way, Moony." He flapped a hand in his friend's direction. "Don' wanna go to class t'day." The werewolf pulled at Sirius' shoulder and managed to get him propped against the bookcase again. He chuckled as Sirius threw both hands over his face. "Why is the morning so bright?"

"Because, Padfoot, Firewhiskey is not your friend. And, I'm going to assume, Lily Evans isn't either." Silver eyes peeked out between tan fingers.

"How did you know that? How do you know what happened last night?" Remus' shoulders shook with repressed laughter.

"You're not the only Gryffindor with a hangover this morning." Sirius continued to look at Remus blankly. "Are you remembering that I'm the only Marauder Lily will be seen with in public?" Sirius nodded but then stopped when the motion added to the pain in his head. Remus slung an arm around his best friend's waist and pulled him to his feet.

"Moony, are you really doing to drag me to class today? I really don't want to have to be around my Lily-bug today." The nickname slipped between his lips before he could stop it. Remus cocked an eyebrow and turned in Sirius' direction.

"_Your _Lily-bug?" Sirius' eyes grew to saucers as he assumed the 'deer-in-the-headlights' look. "Did you really just say that?"

"No?" Sirius tried to convince his friend, and himself, without much success. Remus just shook his head and pulled Sirius forward a few steps.

"It's not the big a deal if you call her Lily-bug; you always call her that. But you know as well as I do that she's James'." Sirius looked at him with the saddest eyes Remus had ever seen.

"Remus, she doesn't want to be Prongs' girl. She honestly doesn't. Past all joking and pranking and everything; she doesn't want to be with James." Remus was shocked into silence as his best friend said this to him.

"How do you know?" He all but whispered.

"She told me. Last night. That's why I can't face her today." Sirius hung his head and watched their shoes as they shuffled down the hall toward Gryffindor Tower.

"What did she say?" Remus knew he was prying but had to know what kind of a heart-to-heart the pair had.

"It wasn't something she said. It was the way she looked at me. She looked at me and I just knew, Remus, like she had screamed it out." Sirius looked at his friend with a blotchy face and running nose. "It was almost like she said she loved me." Remus was in shock. He stopped their progress down the hall and spun Sirius to look at him. Shaggy hair hanging in bloodshot eyes, Sirius couldn't convince himself to look away from the floor. He could feel the heat of Remus' gaze on his face and his already flushed skin reddened even farther in response.

"Moony, please just leave it alone." He murmured as he replayed the scene in his head again. His face crumpled and his silver eyes filled with more of those damnable tears. Remus pulled his friend into a tight hug before setting them both in motion again. Short minutes passed as they made it to the Fat Lady, crossed the Common Room and made it to their room. Remus went through Sirius' things and pulled together a clean uniform. He laid it on the bed and looked at his friend expectantly. Sirius sighed but pulled off his dirty clothes and slipped into the clean ones. Remus performed the same sobering charm he had on Lily not an hour ago. The haggard look pulled away from Sirius' skin but the haunted look didn't come out of his eyes.

"Are you really going to make me go down there?" A whisper was all he could manage. Remus just nodded and wrapped an arm around Sirius' shoulder.

"Sorry Padfoot. You know as well as I do, that it's just something that has to be done." And with that, he pushed them out of the door.

…...

Lily hated herself. What was the point of doing all of that last night if she knew nothing was going to change? Thank Merlin, when Remus found her this morning, struggling with a ponytail, he helped her. As he slipped the elastic band around her hair, she could feel his quizzical looks. Her hot skin and glassy eyes had him perform the sobering charm without her having to ask and she was grateful that she didn't have to suffer. She knew her pride would have gotten in the way of asking him for that relief.

"You might want to go check out the transfiguration section of the library" Lily told Remus before making her getaway to the Great Hall. She sat at Gryffindor table now, clutching her tea like a lifeline. She had managed to choke back a few bites of applesauce but decided to forgo anything else in favor of tucking a muffin in her bag for later. The large doors creaked open to announce the arrival of a few latecomers. She peeked through her fiery bangs to see who it was and then nearly threw up the little breakfast she had eaten when she figured out who they were. She managed to get her stomach under control with a few sips of tea but then her heart nearly melted when she saw just how miserable Sirius looked. Their faces must have matched because Remus gave her a sympathetic look as he settled in across from James, keeping Sirius firmly tucked under his arm. Clearly having used all of his strength to make it to the hall, Sirius put his head on the table while James razzed him about not making it into his bed last night. Lily and Sirius wore matching petrified looks when James casually mentioned how he could have brought the girl back and had a good sleep in his own bed. It was at that remark that Remus patted Sirius' head and made excuses to move down a few seats (and out of ear shot) to talk to Lily.

"He told you, didn't he?" Lily groaned as soon as Remus was sitting. Instead of pretending he didn't know what she was talking about, the werewolf just nodded. Lily groaned again and put her head on the table. "This is why I don't drink. Especially when you boys try to pester me into it." Remus stroked the ponytail he had put it, and pulled the hair away from her flushed neck.

"Why did you never try to set the record straight before it got too far out of control? Why didn't you make it clear that you preferred Sirius before James completely dominated the claim on you?" Lily just looked so upset by the thought that she could have reversed all the damage that James had done that Remus rubbed her back while he waited for an answer.

"I never thought anything would get so far" her voice was so quiet, it was just barely above a whisper, "I never thought James would actually be able to convince people I was his. And because Sirius is so like James, I never thought the weird little crush I had on him would amount to anything." Lily could feel the pity in Remus' eyes and she hated every last bit of it. Without so much as a goodbye, Lily picked up her bag and walked out of the hall, leaving the Marauders behind her.

…...

He approached cautiously, knowing just how good of a shot Lily was with a hardcover book; and the one she was reading today looked particularly heavy. He sidled into her peripheral vision, not wanting to catch her off guard. When she glanced up, emerald met silver in a painful collision. Sirius waited until she nodded before going over to her on shaky legs. Lily set her book to the side and let Sirius sit next to her in the grass. He picked up her hand and caressed her fingers, sending her heartbeat into overdrive.

"I'm sorry." Sirius continued to stare out at the lake, knowing that if he looked at Lily, every bit of defense he had would fall away just as he slipped into her arms. "I'm sorry I came and bothered you last night. I never know when to leave well enough alone." He heard a sniffle and couldn't keep himself from looking at her. She was crying and her tears were leaving glassy tracks down her cheeks that caught the new sunlight and made it look like she was glowing. It nearly broke him, right then and there. All Sirius wanted to do was kiss away those tears and hold her tight in his arms and tell his Lily-bug that everything was going to be fine. But that was off-limits to him. Instead of everything he wanted to do, he stood up. Lily watched him with cautious eyes and stood with him. Sirius cupped a palm around her cheek and said, "I really am trying to do what's right. And I'm so sorry I've hurt you so much." Sirius kissed Lily's forehead and left her standing at the lake, while he walked back to the castle, wiping away tears of his own.


End file.
